Abstract
Widowed Individuals undergo a significant process of identity reconstruction in the aftermath of their partner’s death. The loss of a spouse often prompts a re-evaluation of self-concept, roles, and goals. widowed individuals must confront the challenges and complexities of “redefining their sense of self in the absence of the partner “especially as it regards parenting and wellbeing of children. Several studies on widowhood, culture, and its implications on solitary parenthood abound. However, the dynamic landscape of parental identity among widowed people, its profound ramifications for their children’s well-being, dynamics and complexities of parenting, as well as the influence of Westernization in assisting the shifting notions of parenting and identity in Osun state, South-west Nigeria, are yet to be fully explored. The research discovers an insufficient in-depth study on how widowed individuals in Africa can navigate the challenges of complexities and dynamics of their changed single parenting roles. Therefore, it aims to investigate the factors driving the changes in parental identity dynamics and complexities among widowed persons in Osun State, South-west Nigeria, and its impact on the well-being of the children. Using qualitative methods of contextual theorization, and deconstructive and reconstructive argumentation, it seeks to examine a shift in family dynamics and inform policy and intervention strategies that can better support the well-being of widowed individuals and their children in Osun State, Nigeria. The findings of this research contribute to a deeper understanding of the evolving nature of parental roles within diverse family structures and underscore the importance of addressing the unique needs of this specific population in the context of Nigerian society.
Keywords: Child well-being, Decolonization, Identity, Shifting notions, Widowed parents.
INTRODUCTION
Widowhood is a significant life event that can bring about profound changes in the lives of individuals, particularly in the context of family dynamics and parental roles. When a spouse passes away, widowed persons often find themselves in the consequences of their loss, navigating uncharted territory as they grapple with the emotional, social, and economic implications of their loss. (Onadeko et al 2002). While numerous studies have explored the challenges of widowhood in various cultural and geographic contexts, the focus on how parental identity evolves within this population remains an under-explored area of research.
Nigeria, a country known for its diverse cultural and societal norms, provides a unique lens through which to explore the multifaceted nature of parental roles and how they adapt in the face of widowhood. Osun State, located in southwestern Nigeria, is an intriguing backdrop for examining these shifts in parental identity. With its distinct cultural heritage and traditions, it presents an opportunity to delve into localized dynamics within the broader Nigerian context. The experiences of widowed individuals in Osun State are not only shaped by the loss of a partner but also by the surrounding socio-cultural factors that influence their identity and roles as parents. In many parts of Osun State, traditional norms and extended family structures play a central role in shaping family responsibilities and expectations, particularly in times of adversity. Therefore, the challenges and opportunities faced by widowed parents in this region are likely to differ from those in other geographic and cultural settings.
Understanding the shifting notions of parental identity among widowed persons in Osun State is not only crucial for comprehending the complexities of family dynamics but also for addressing the well-being of their children. The changes in how parents perceive themselves and fulfill their roles can have a direct impact on the emotional, psychological, and social development of their offspring. Consequently, this research aims to shed light on the experiences and adaptations of widowed parents in Osun State, Nigeria, and their profound implications for the welfare of their children. By exploring this intricate interplay between parental identity and child well-being, this study seeks to provide valuable insights that can inform policies and interventions tailored to the needs of this specific population in a culturally sensitive manner.
This work is divided into four parts. The first part attempts a conceptual analysis of parenting, parental Identity, and parental role. The second part critically discusses the lived experiences of widowed parents and their children’s well-being from the interviews conducted on the field. The third part examines some challenges of single parenting for widowed parents. The fourth part discusses the findings of the research. It concludes with the suggestion that the Nigerian government, policymakers, and stakeholders should develop policies that will benefit widowed parents and their children.
PARENTING, IDENTITY CONSTRUCTION AND PARENTAL ROLE IN OSUN STATE, NIGERIA.
Parenting is viewed in the context of the wider social world and is influenced by a range of societal and community factors. It consists of a given society’s customs, attitudes, ideals, and beliefs, and historical period (Fawole 2020, Adewole 2020, Onangha 2022). Parenting is a practical, long, and gradual process of guiding and nurturing the child through all stages of life (Alison, 2010). The use of “all stages of life” here is deliberate because even when the child is old enough to start his own family, he still needs the guidance of his parents. This is in line with the observations of Ribbens and Edwards (1998), that parenting could be seen as a practical activity that involves skills and training, or it could otherwise be viewed as a political and moral activity.
Drumm (2004) in one of his scholarly works sees parenting to be an encompassing institution. According to him, it is a major framework for the understanding of the disparities between different societies such as the western and the indigenous societies. Such society in Osun state is influenced by culture and ethnicity in delivering their parenting commitments. Yusuf (2014) also holds an affirmation to this by defining parenting as a system of contribution and activities that enables, facilitates, and promotes the physical, emotional, social, moral, and intellectual development of a child. Albeit, there are no specific scientific criteria for being or assessing good parents, sociological theories such as Functionalism, Conflict, Feminism, and Interactionism have tried to give reasons and have articulated well how and why families and parents assume different kinds of disposition or commitment at one time or the other during the parenting practices (Toby, 2011).
All the above submissions on parenting can be summed up in layman’s language to say that parenting refers to the specific direction and innovative methods and the intelligent appliances of principles or complex technological and social scientific problems that would impact mindfully on the overall welfare of the society.
Parental Identity
The concept of parental identity is defined as a parent’s identity and is measured as the firmness of commitment to the parenting domain and the degree of personal exploration in acquiring one’s views on parenting issues. (Fadjukoff, P., et al. 2016). It typically refers to an individual’s sense of self and role as a parent, encompassing how persons perceive and define themselves in their role as either a father or a mother, or even a caregiver. It involves how individuals perceive themselves in their parental roles, how they interpret societal expectations and cultural norms related to parenting, and how they integrate their experiences and values into their identity as parents. Parental Identity includes one’s values, beliefs, and attitudes about parenting, as well as the behaviors and actions associated with fulfilling parental responsibilities. It could also encompass the emotional connections and attachments between a parent and their child. Parental identity is strongly influenced by cultural and societal influences, personal beliefs, and factors and can evolve as parents gain experience and learn about their children’s needs and development.
In Osun state, we cannot rule out the instinct that comes with parenting. However, parenting in the 21st century requires more than instinct. It has gone far beyond the basic provision of food, shelter, and clothing. Parents must possess physical, mental, and emotional awareness at all times. Parents must also learn to be fully involved through regular engagement with their children. Good parenting therefore, involve having to model positive leadership skills around one’s children by teaching and guiding them on what is wrong and what is right, setting healthy boundaries and age-appropriate consequences for negative actions and being a strict disciplinarian. It is crucial to know that there is no laid down pattern of parenting because of the diverse nature of children. Children don’t come to be the same in character, learning ability, size, and general disposition towards life. Despite this, parents must be well experienced by incorporating family support and professional parenting tips to guide them in the journey of parenting. They should deal with each child according to the peculiarity of that child, this way they will be able to bring out the best of that child having understood that child properly. The child in turn develops good confidence in himself and his parents and will communicate freely with them. (Abimbola Olayinka Punch Newspaper May 3rd 2021. Ensuring good parenting and well-being of children in Osun state, Nigeria apart from paying attention to children’s education, health care, economic factors, cultural and social practices, child protection and rights, community support, and government initiatives, also should involve giving special attention to the moral character of the children as they journey in life. Thus, with the adoption and practices of virtues such as compassion, kindness, satisfaction, empathy, courage, honesty, sympathy, patience amongst several other virtues, the overall well-being of the child is likely to be guaranteed.
In Nigeria, identities are important features of a family (Nnaemeka 1996, Jiboye & Ogunshakin 2010). Given the precolonial existence of various Nigerian communities, the family was the minutest political unit that determined the governance of villages and kingdoms. Given the precolonial existence of various Nigerian communities, the family was the minutest political unit that determined the governance of villages and kingdoms. Invariably, Nigerian kingdoms had family values and heritage which became entangled with colonialism around 1900 (Uzoigwe 2004, Umezurike 2016). Studies have shown how cultural values and gender roles played out before colonialism. Yet, from the colonial era, there emerged cultural diffusion, rejection, and transformation, which influenced the values of motherhood and fatherhood. From the colonial era in Nigeria, the changing notions of fatherhood and motherhood have resulted in multiple identities. At what point could we ascertain that identities have got diffused, rejected and transformed in the rural and urban areas of modern Nigeria? With the emergence of colonial infrastructures in Nigeria, new constructs of modern lifestyle influenced the identities of fatherhood and motherhood. And the notions set in colonial childhood ultimately reflect in the image of parenting conspicuous in contemporary times. The obvious dichotomy in the notions of parenting in the city and village manifests in different dimensions. The multi-causal dimension highlights are embedded in issues of class, politics, ethnicity, education, capitalism, globalization, urbanization, and religion. All these matters in understanding the notions of identity in Nigeria. (Smith 2001)
Identity reconstruction for widowed parents (either a widow or a widower) begins with a transformation from being a married person to being widowed. This automatically changes the identity of that person. Parental identity typically refers to an individual’s sense of self and role as a parent. It encompasses how a person perceives and defines themselves in their role as either a father a mother or even a caregiver. Impliedly for widowed person, their identity encompasses how they are able to take up their new single parental role. Parental Identity include one’s values, beliefs and attitudes about parenting, as well as the behaviors and actions associated with fulfilling parental responsibilities. It could also encompass the emotional connections and attachments between a parent and their child. Parental identity is strongly influenced by culture, societal and personal experiences, values, and beliefs(For example, someone who values independence may prioritize fostering autonomy in their children, while someone who values academic achievement may prioritize educational opportunities). Individuals draw on their own experiences growing up, as well as their experiences as parents, to construct their parenting identity. Positive and negative experiences can shape beliefs and behaviors.
Overall, the identity construction of parenting is a dynamic and multifaceted process that involves ongoing reflection, adaptation, and negotiation of one’s role as a parent within the broader context of society and culture.
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Parental Roles
Parental roles could be referred to as expected tasks and responsibilities parents take over their children. It is those obligations of a parent over his children. These roles can vary depending on the cultural norms and individual family dynamics but generally include providing for the child’s physical and emotional needs, setting boundaries, educating, and nurturing. For instance, it is expected that parents provide food, shelter, nurture and make life comfortable for his children. Ajila and Olutola (2000) submit that the family is the first place of contact for the child is saddled with the responsibility of education and socialization skills from parents and other significant persons. They argue that the family is the first school a child is born into and as such, parents must be well guided in the nurturing and upbringing of children. While scholars like Ajila and Olutola (2000), Vellymalay (2012), discuses extensively on parenting and a child’s formal education, this study moves further from previous studies to examine the moral dimension of parenting, how can parenting impact the moral character of the child not just physical providing for the child but instilling good character in that child, adopting virtue ethics.
In most ethnic groups in Nigeria, as Adelabu (2008) opines, parental and maternal roles are clearly defined among the Yoruba in South-west Nigeria, maternal roles include child rearing, home training, and playing complementary roles, while paternal roles are that of providing for the family necessities and discipline of the children, when any of the parents are not available to fulfill their responsibilities it may affect their children upbringing and may turn the children into wayward and academics failures. The family being the first primary social group that the child first belongs to; thus, this group has a greater influence on the child’s physical, emotional and mental development. Simply because the family lays the foundation of education before the child goes to school and the kind of personality the child will exhibit in the school, to a greater extent the education attainment of the child is determined by the family. Both parents have their roles to play in children’s education and moral development, the father provides the necessary tools for educational advancement, while the mother is expected to supplement and complement the effort of the father. In Nigerian society generally, the absence of the father or mother could have a particular negative socialization process on a child which may be detrimental or dangerous for the child in particular and society at large. And that when both parents are present, it implies that the child would derive the most care, a child from homes where the father and the mother are present will be well taken care of and socialized in the best way possible (Ortese, 1998). Furthermore, Davis (2011) observed that the foundation of what a person becomes in society is laid in the home at the initial stage of life. However, in the cause of the death of one of the parents, the parenting role is left in the hands of the living parent. (Nyakutse, 2006, Thwala 2011; Falana, Bada and Ayodele, 2012). The living parent is now confronted with the challenges of navigating the dual roles and complexities of parenting which could adversely affect the well-being of the child if not well managed.
EXPERIENCES OF WIDOWED PERSONS (WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS) AND THEIR CHILDREN’S WELL-BEING.
The experience of losing a spouse is a profound and life-altering event that has far-reaching implications for the individuals left behind. Widowed parents, in particular, navigate a complex landscape as they grapple with the dual challenge of reshaping their own identities while simultaneously addressing the needs of their children. This section explores the multifaceted aspects of the identities and situations of widowed parents, drawing on a range of scholarly perspectives to shed light on the emotional, social, and psychological dimensions of their experiences. The findings of this research through interactions with respondents during the interview suggest that the psychological well-being of widowed parents in Nigeria has been very poor primarily especially for the reason of loneliness and stigmatization at times for the widow. (Vanguard Newspapers 4th March 2014).
Widowed parents undergo a significant process of identity reconstruction in the aftermath of their partner’s death. The loss of a spouse often prompts a re-evaluation of self-concept, roles, and goals. This self-concept involves the widowed parent to have a re-evaluation of him/herself taking up a new role of single parenting. This process involves not only adapting to a new reality as a single parent but also navigating the emotional journey of self-discovery amid grief and loss. In Osun state, as Olaleye (2017) argues, many widows are left to cater to the needs of their families by themselves. Some widows, for instance, are ejected from their husband’s houses and denied his properties. All these have adverse effects on children’s academic performance, such as; depression, and emotional trauma and find it difficult to focus in school. The experience of guilt is a common emotional response among widowed parents, stemming from a perceived inability to meet the expectations of idealized parenthood. Guilt, as explored by Miller (2019), can have both positive and negative implications on parenting. While excessive guilt may hinder effective parenting, moderate levels of guilt can serve as a moral compass, prompting parents to reflect on their actions and strive for virtuous behavior.
The psychological impact of widowhood extends beyond grief and includes a range of emotions such as loneliness, anxiety, and depression (Smith et al., 2018). Research by Donovan and McFarlane (2019) emphasizes the importance of addressing the mental health needs of widowed parents, as they face an increased risk of developing psychological distress. The dual burden of managing personal grief while supporting their children through the grieving process underscores the complexity of their psychological challenges.
Widowed parents face unique parenting challenges due to the absence of a co-parent. Balancing the responsibilities of sole parenthood can be overwhelming, and studies indicate that widowed parents often struggle with feelings of inadequacy in fulfilling the roles previously shared with their deceased partners. (Jones & Brown, 2017). The adjustment to single parenting can be extremely challenging, especially for those who were not the primary caregivers before the loss. Therefore, it is crucial to emphasize the role of social support for widows during this difficult time in their lives. Building strong social networks can provide emotional, practical, and instrumental support throughout the grieving process and the journey of single parenthood. (Thomas &Cothran, 2020). Friendships, family relationships, and community ties play vital roles in helping widowed parents maintain a sense of connectedness and resilience. The financial implications of widowhood contribute significantly to the situations faced by widowed parents. The loss of a spouse may lead to a reduction in household income, creating economic strain and necessitating adjustments to lifestyle and priorities (Miller & Tripoli, 2016). Financial considerations become a prominent factor in decision-making, impacting the widowed parent’s ability to provide for their children and maintain a stable home environment. Cultural and Gender dynamics also influence the identity construction of widowed individuals. Cultural norms and expectations regarding grief expression, remarriage, and family structures shape the coping strategies and choices of widowed individuals (Rosenblatt, 2018). Gender roles, too, play a role in shaping the experiences of widowed mothers and fathers, with societal expectations often influencing how they navigate their roles as both parents and individuals (Suitor, JJ. et, al. 2022).
Widowhood in Osun State, Nigeria, presents a unique set of challenges that significantly impact the well-being of children left behind (Akinyemi, A. et al 2014). The cultural, economic, and social context of the region plays a crucial role in shaping the experiences of widowed families, influencing the grieving process and the support systems available. The identities and situations of widowed parents are complex and multifaceted, encompassing emotional, psychological, social, and cultural dimensions (Yopp JM, et. al 2019). Consequently, understanding the nuanced experiences of widowed parents is crucial for developing effective support systems that acknowledge the diversity of their situations. As submitted by Johnson (2021), community support enhances the ability of widowed parents to exhibit virtues such as gratitude and reciprocity, creating a positive ripple effect on the well-being of their children.
The loss of a parent through death is a profound and transformative experience for children, shaping their emotional, social, and psychological development. Widowed parents face unique challenges in navigating their grief while also ensuring the well-being of their children. This essay explores the implications of the identities and situations of widowed parents on the well-being of their children, drawing on scholarly perspectives to provide insights into the multifaceted dynamics of this complex phenomenon. The death of a parent can be a traumatic experience for children, and how widowed parents navigate their grief significantly influences the well-being of their offspring. According to Thompson and Nelson (2018), children often model their emotional responses based on the coping strategies demonstrated by their surviving parents. The ability of widowed parents to effectively manage their grief and create a supportive environment can contribute to healthier coping mechanisms for their children.
Central to the well-being of children from widowed homes is effective communication within the family which is crucial for children to comprehend and process the loss of a parent. Widowed parents play a pivotal role in facilitating open and age-appropriate discussions about death, grief, and the changed family dynamic (Worden, 2009). Research suggests that children benefit from honest conversations that validate their emotions and provide a sense of security in the face of uncertainty (Christ, 2016). The identities and situations of widowed parents, including their emotional state and coping mechanisms, significantly shape the nature of these crucial conversations.
CHALLENGES OF SINGLE PARENTING FOR WIDOWED PARENTS
The transition to single parenthood following the death of a spouse introduces a myriad of challenges that can impact the well-being of children. The additional responsibilities and potential financial strain may affect the availability of time and emotional support that widowed parents can provide (Cairney, Boyle, Offord, & Racine, 2003). The identities and situations of widowed parents influence their ability to balance these challenges, consequently shaping the stability and well-being of the family unit. Thus, this category of individuals needs all the necessary support. For instance, the role of social support extends beyond the widowed parent to impact the well-being of their children. Children often benefit from extended family, friends, and community networks that provide emotional and practical support (Haine, Ayers, Sandler, &Wolchik, 2008). Widowed parents who can cultivate and maintain robust social support networks contribute positively to the overall well-being of their children by ensuring a broader system of care and resources.
Widowhood and the Challenges of Parenting.
This research reveals some challenges of parenting for widowed individuals based on findings from primary data.
Economic Challenges: The data covered the challenges the economic challenges confronting widowed parents in Osun State. This research discovers the dynamism of widowhood which is manifested in different lived experiences of widowed individuals. Based on this fact, we discover there are also different challenges confronting widowed individuals based on their gender, financial stability, age, and settlements. However, some of the challenges identified seem to cut across the majority of the widowed persons who were participants in this study. Widowed parents living in rural areas like Ikoyi-file, and Obokun where this study was carried out are confronted with economic challenges. Most of these widows are unemployed; therefore, they lack opportunities that could empower them economically. They were sorely dependent on their husbands and had no formal education and training to empower them economically. For example, a respondent narrated this;
When my husband was alive, he had so many hectares of land where he planted cocoa and palm oil. My children attended school in the village and I was helping my husband to sell produce from the farm. When he died, his brothers deprived me and the children of getting access to the land. We didn’t have any money to eat and the children had to stop schooling. I have suffered a lot from these people. (KII/2023/Female/41Years/Ikoyi-ile)
The economic challenges are aggravated by illiteracy and financial dependency on husbands by their wives. Impliedly, when the husband dies, the widow will be left at the mercy of the husband’s relatives. For many rural widows in Osun State, the implications of poverty include the withdrawal of children from school and the adoption of coping strategies such as engaging in exploitative informal work, engaging the children in child labor, and ending them in cities like Osogbo, Ilesha, Ife, Lagos, and other neighboring towns to work as house maids. While some of these children become adolescent mothers. (Research on Humanities and Social Sciences, 2013).
This narrative may not be the same for the widowed man as he is the breadwinner already and only feels more financial burden due to the loss of his spouse who was also a financial contributor in the home. A respondent narrates how he now thinks of having other means of income to sustain himself and the children since his wife who was also a financial contributor passed on.
Socio-Cultural Challenges
In Nigeria, it is increasingly acknowledged that social and cultural factors are important in understanding parenting practices. Research conducted so far has demonstrated that sociocultural factors such as family structure, social capital, community beliefs about children and parental capabilities, societal recognition of child-rearing responsibilities, socialization goals and practices, colonial history, culture contact, and linkages, exposure to globalizing forces, and technological development have a great impact on the understanding of children’s well-being and the development of young people. It is understood that different ethnic groups in a plural society like Nigeria have their own unique cultures which they share with members of their cultural group, and this culture shapes their ways of life including child-rearing practices. Nigerians are not homogeneous; they are diverse in terms of culture, language, history, and ways of life. (Arakelyan and Ager 2021, Varela et al., 2020) African countries have a variety of distinct cultural practices and local idioms that show the significance of ethnicity in shaping the lives of the people. This comprehensive research study conducted in Osun State, Nigeria investigated how societal and cultural factors influence a shift in parental role, child-rearing practices, and well-being. The study demonstrated that these factors not only shape people’s lifestyles but also profoundly impact their overall well-being. The findings highlighted the existence of diverse cultural norms, values, and practices within Nigerian society, all of which play a significant role in the development and well-being of children. It is crucial to acknowledge that culture is not static, but rather dynamic and subject to change over time. This evolution of cultural practices occurs through various processes (Buehler, 2020 Gonçalves et al.2021).
The way and manner widows adapt to their widowhood state is likely to have lasting effects on their own psychological well-being and that of their children, as most widows with young children do not remarry.(Okedele 2024)
Cultures interact due to globalization, leading to changes in child-rearing. However, cultural influence on children’s well-being in Nigeria has been overlooked. Disharmony between traditional beliefs, modern practices, and globalization poses a challenge to children’s well-being. Parents, professionals, researchers, and policymakers should pay attention.
The loss of a parent in the home can have a significant impact on the well-being of both the surviving parent and the children. They both experience the pain of losing a loved one and go through the grieving process together. However, the widowed parent may feel the need to hide their own emotions to help their child or children heal faster. The child or children may be deeply affected by the loss of a father or mother, especially if they had a close relationship with the deceased before their passing. They may experience feelings of depression, discouragement, and emotional trauma, which can lead to difficulties concentrating in school, lower academic performance, and emotional and psychological instability.
While on the field, widowed persons interviewed narrated the ordeal, especially regarding the younger children. All the children of a particular interviewee (widowed person) are young and they have limited understanding and knowledge about the death of the mothers. They used to ask the father when his mother came back home, but the painful truth is being kept away from such innocent children. Thus, the children may continue to hope that someday their dead father/ mother will return which will never be the case. They will only get to understand the reality as they grow older. This could pose another challenge on the part of the widowed parent who is also struggling to be healed of the pain of losing a spouse. He /she is being reminded by the children every day as they ask about the whereabouts of their missing parent while the widowed parent also struggles to keep reality away from the children till they are mature.
Gender Roles and Expectations
Parenting among the widowed is also affected by gender roles. The cultural expectations of a widower are different from that of a widow. It could be observed that in Nigerian society, it is believed that the widow is confronted by more parental challenges than the widower especially if she is a sole dependant on her late husband. Yet, a good number of the interviewees also pointed out that there are some challenges experienced by widowed men in the community. They perceived that the death of the spouse is shifted from the norms and structure of the family. For those reasons, they face a lot of emotional torture, distress, and psychological trauma and changes, including grief, persistent complex bereavement disorder, stress, and fatal diseases such as heart attack, and hypertension, to mention a few. Women are not essentially in the role of decision-making. They are expected to take orders from their husbands and in-laws. A widow for instance might not be able to make certain decisions on her own without first making consultations with her husband. As revealed by one of my interviewees, a widow in her narration;
They used the cultural machinery to reduce my role in the decision-making and other activities regarding my husband’s properties and where he was to be buried” KII/2023/Female/ Osogbo/ Nigeria.
The majority of the widowers stressed that life is bitter after the death of their spouses and they go through a lot of emotional challenges.
A widowed man also stressed that “Unfortunately, in this society, if it is a man that loses the wife, he becomes an irresponsible father, he becomes a high level of sexual promiscuity. Probably, he might be associating a lot of friends in the beer parlors.” (KII/2023/Male/obokun/Nigeria)
These comments showed societal perception about the roles of widowed men and women in Yoruba society. It highlights the insensitivity and discrimination over the condition of the gender of the widowers. These visible quotes from various interviewees were effectively utilized to justify the challenges widowed persons go through. He is being stigmatized and isolated in the association. For example, one of the widowers also said, “I was taking coffee with some members under the tree, so some other members who are younger to me now because of the death of my wife, put pressure that why should we take the coffee under this man’s tree, he is not a legitimate member, so we shifted the coffee place to another tree.” I think I am extra in this description there.
Decolonizing the Shifting Notions of Parenting among Widowed Parents in South-West Nigeria?
Decolonization is the empowering process of challenging the power of colonization and reversing its effects. It involves dismantling oppressive colonial systems and restoring colonized peoples’ autonomy, self-determination, and sovereignty. This includes recognizing and respecting the rights of Indigenous peoples to their land, resources, and cultural practices, revitalizing suppressed Indigenous languages and traditions, transforming institutions that perpetuate colonial ideologies and inequalities, supporting self-governance and cultural autonomy among colonized communities, and acknowledging and addressing historical injustices such as land dispossession, forced assimilation, and genocide. Decolonization aims to create a more just and equitable society by empowering colonized peoples to reclaim their identities, cultures, and futures.
Now, in the context of parenting for widowed parents in Osun State, the process of decolonization involves deconstructing existing norms, beliefs, and practices around parenting that may have been influenced by colonial legacies and Western ideologies. This can be done by appraising our indigenous knowledge systems and practices related to parenting that existed before colonialism. This includes valuing traditional child-rearing practices, storytelling, proverbs, communal caregiving, and the transmission of cultural values through oral traditions.
There is a need for a decolonization of the effects of colonialism on parenting norms and attitudes in Nigeria. This involves acknowledging the impact of colonial policies on family structures, gender roles, and educational systems, and identifying ways in which these legacies continue to influence contemporary parenting practices.
It is important to support initiatives that aim to restore and revitalize Nigerian cultural practices related to parenting as part of the decolonization project. This may involve celebrating cultural festivals, reviving traditional parenting customs, and integrating Indigenous languages and storytelling into parenting approaches.
To decolonize parenting, it is important to challenge gender stereotypes and work towards gender equality in parental roles and responsibilities. Encouraging shared caregiving duties between parents, questioning the idea that parenting is primarily the responsibility of women, and promoting positive masculinity that values nurturing and emotional expression is key.
Building supportive community networks that acknowledge the significance of collective caregiving and mutual parent support is also crucial. This may involve establishing community-based parenting groups, arranging workshops on traditional parenting practices, and providing resources and support to widowed parents facing challenges.
There is a need to promote education and awareness about decolonization and its relevance to parenting practices. This may include integrating decolonial perspectives into parenting education programs, developing curricula, and launching public awareness campaigns.
Advocating for policies that support decolonized parenting practices and address systemic barriers that hinder equitable parenting experiences is essential. This might involve advocating for parental leave policies, access to affordable childcare, and inclusive education systems that respect diverse cultural backgrounds.
Fostering interdisciplinary collaboration between scholars, community leaders, educators, and policymakers to develop comprehensive approaches to decolonizing parenting in Nigeria is also important. This could involve integrating insights from fields such as anthropology, psychology, sociology, and education. By engaging in these efforts, it is possible to challenge colonial legacies, promote cultural reclamation, and create more equitable and culturally relevant parenting practices in Nigeria.
FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION
The findings of this work reveal that the concept of parenting may not be the same everywhere and that it may change. This has two implications: first is that I seek to define the concept of parenting and familiarize the readers with how parenting is conceptualized in Osun State, Nigeria. Secondly, this data makes it clear that the main shift in notions of parenting has occurred about what is deemed to be in the best interests of a child. The role of parenting has now been shifted from two persons to one. Consequently, the living parents assume a dual parental role of both the father and mother in the life of the child.
The study discovered that the well-being of children is closely related to the parenting practices of widowed individuals. There is a common assumption that children raised by widowed parents face emotional and psychological challenges. However, the study suggests that the mental well-being of children with widowed parents may not differ significantly from that of children with non-widowed parents, provided the situation is well managed. Nevertheless, a considerable number of children, especially older ones and females, experienced increased psychological distress. This finding is concurrent with the ones recorded by Cheung (2008) in his study. The death of a parent can cause intense grief in both adolescents and adults. Adolescents may struggle with mixed feelings of wanting independence from their surviving parent, while also feeling responsible for them. Meanwhile, the absence of a spouse can lead to feelings of isolation and a sense of loss. It’s important to investigate and understand how the parenting notions of widowed individuals may affect their children’s well-being, either positively or negatively. This will help to apply appropriate measures in the interest of the children. Therefore, the loss of a parent can have a significant impact on a child’s education and schooling, psychological well-being, and social relationships and interactions with peers.
RECOMMENDATIONS
There is a need to explore cultural and traditional assumptions about parenting roles to assist parents who have lost a partner in maintaining a healthy relationship with their children. Professional counseling services can help provide support and foster a good parent-child relationship during the grieving process. The findings of the research have significant implications for policy and practice.
- Firstly, it highlights the need for a change in the public’s perception of widowed parents and the recognition of their important role as primary caregivers to their children. As such, it is important to develop various forms of support, such as policy and service provision. The Nigerian government and the state government of Osun should acknowledge the vulnerable position of widowed persons as custodians of their children and implement policies and programs that can alleviate discrimination, social exclusion, and poverty, which may negatively impact the well-being of their children.
- Secondly, the study found that poverty reduction programs should consider the needs of widowed person households and include them in benefit entitlements. Reforms to the family justice system, such as automatic guardianship for widows, could reduce costs and disruptions.
- The government and relevant authorities are responsible for law and social welfare. They should ensure that the law provides automatic appointment of the widowed mother unless there is evidence to the contrary. Additionally, awareness campaigns should be launched to inform the public about the difficulties faced by widowed parents and their children and to gain support for reforms. Such awareness campaigns should be subjective and impartial.
- To improve the well-being of children of widowed parents, future research should investigate the coping strategies used by such parents and how they affect their children. Additionally, research into the history of social and psychological support for widowed parents in Osun State is necessary to determine the effectiveness of this support. Another important aspect for further research is the impact of societal judgment and disdain, particularly on female widowed parents who may choose not to remarry due to social pressures.
- Policymakers need to be provided with clear evidence on how the current provision of statutory social and psychological support for bereaved parents can be improved and better targeted, especially for widowed mothers who may experience gender discrimination. Such research should provide solution-oriented outcomes given the growing rate of widows in Nigeria. This will help inform policy and practice for stakeholders involved in providing support for widowed parents and their children in terms of their health and social well-being.
CONCLUSION
A study in Osun State, Nigeria explored changes in parenting roles among widowed individuals and their coping mechanisms as single parents. The study found significant shifts in parenting roles and the need for better support systems for vulnerable families and also highlighted the inadequacy of current support systems for vulnerable families. To address family violence, a comprehensive policy intervention is necessary. The government and stakeholders must streamline provisions to meet the specific needs of different family types. Widowed individuals should be empowered to take on new parenting roles with support. Family-focused policies should support all family members and offer flexible solutions like self-directed and psycho-social interventions.
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